all these lemons taste the same

A quick chocolatey post.

It’s 1 hour into the 3rd of January 2012. Why aren’t I curled up in bed with my marvellously warm microwaveable pillow, reading Bridget Jones or sighing to myself as I recall recent memories of the near past?

I’ll tell you why.

Because I’ve eaten so much fucking chocolate over the past few days, I’m on a permanent sugar/saturated-fat/cocoa-induced high. 

White chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate - it’s all in there, currently forming some kind of multicultural congregation in my stomach. All slowly eating away at my infested arteries, whilst screaming infinitely, “You know you want more of me. You know exactly where I live. Come find me, bitch.” 

Hence, why am I writing this late on a monday night? Because I’m trying to find anything else in the world to distract me from giving into the luxuriously smooth, gloriously calorific devil on my shoulder. And no, nobody uses tumblr anymore. It’s had it’s Formspring-reminiscent period in the sun, but it still, unsurprisingly, provides an, albiet quite tedious, alternative to gorging on poor, adorable, delicious Lindor reindeers. 

….Now my eyes hurt. Staring at a laptop screen whilst your pupils are inflated with chocolatey mocha caffeine is an activity I shall never undergo again. Until tomorrow, of course, when I’ll sit in exactly this spot, munching on mince pies and maltesars, bringing on this same experience, again, and again, and again.

Anonymous asked: IM me on Yahoo Msngr it's important. my username is deborahmeliaHH121379

errrrrrrrrrrrr

i’ve got another confession to make

      I’ve always been scared of being alone. For three fantastic years, you’ve filled the shoes of the one I needed to be myself. But we got to the crossroads. Our choices widened. The routes we needed to take, we would inevitably not take together. This post is already starting to sound negative, I am aware. But it’s not. It’s actually a reflection, of everything I’ve ever loved. 

Obviously, I miss how close we always were. But look how brave we both are for moving on alone. So many hours we’d spend together thinking we were all we had; the secrets and stories shared, the battles fought, the rages ranted. So many wonderful memories…and trust me, I can recall every single, sacred one.

Ultimately, there is always a point in life where the simple path seperates. It’s what was intended; what was meant to be. We can’t give up, sink to a seat on the cold ground, waiting for one or the other of us to retreat…but we can both keep soldiering on with seperate steps, maybe occasionally looking back to pine after what was there before, hoping, one day, that fate will bring us together again.

But I dont mean this in a negative manner. We had such a good time together. I’m seriously so happy to see you enjoying life now more than you ever did before. Our partnership was unparalleled, you’re life in mine: incomparable. I thank God for introducing me to you. Without you, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

We’ve both reached the bottom of this wonderfully wild slope, and we were together until the end; no words can express how glad I am to look up, and see you’ve started gracefully ascending the next.

Thank you so much, for everything. 

Wowza. It’s been a while, hasn’t it, tumblr? I fancy a little chin-wag.

A LOT has happened recently. I’ve been out alot. Which is something that hasn’t really happened before, due to my lack of social ability and active inconsistency. But because I’ve been out and around, I sort of gave up on everything else for a bit. I regret this. But I’ve had so much fun in the past few days/weeks.

It’s funny how something can grow, isn’t it? Friendship, I mean. A seed can be planted, and a few days later, you can already see the first hint of the go-coloured green sprouting through. And then overtime, it grows even more. And eventually its grown way above many of the others. The process is sped up even further when just an hour with that special one has given the whole thing a great boost. Like a massive kick up the backside, whilst something in your subconscious, “hey, this kid’s gonna be your friend”.

I think it’s also known as “clicking”.

The irony of this whole blog-post, is that the friend I’m talking about, who’s supposedly well up her way on the climb to friendship’s peak, is actually only around 5 foot 2. But that’s why I love her. She’s so like me.

That michievous, beautiful, benign babe that means so much to me.

H.A.R.R.Y H.U.G.O

My arrogant rat-a-like of a friend, Hazla, has asked me to do a shout out to him on tumblr. (Actually he was just complainging about how bad it was so I thought I would anger his red little twatty face further by doing the following…)

H - Haughty. A haughty little shite.

A - Above. How he thinks he’s superior to everyone. The irony of this is that he’s actually quite short.

R - Reserved. LOL jk he doesnt really give a shit what he says or does. But he would argue that everybody wants to hear what he has to say. So that’s ok.

R (again) - Where’s my thesaurus?

Y - The only relevant Y-starting word I can think of is “YMCA”. Because he’s obviously gay.

H - HOT STUFF….is what he would refer to himself as. So once again, if “egotistical” began with an H, I’d write it here.

U - Unworthy. Of a place on this earth. Ouch…I actually feel quite mean saying this…taking it back.

G - Ginger. He will deny this. But whatever you like to call it, Haz, “auburn”, “light-brown”, you’re a born ginger THROUGH and THROUGH. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

O - Overbearing. I anticipate the day that a higher person tells him he is not the greatest thing to walk alive on earth, and hopefully he shall retreat sulkily from his ego-trip.

So, there you go Harry. Much love. <3

P.S. I was not intending to cause any offence to anyone (except Harry) with the content of this blog-post. 

Anonymous asked: you have a pretty awesome taste in music, has to be said

ahaha as long as it’s thought-provoking, i’m on it ;)

you kick up the leaves, and the magic is lost

I know some horrid things people have said about you. I know some nasty things you’ve said about me. But I won’t tell you, because I know it meant nothing. It was said, but it will never mean anything. Why bother hurting you, all in vain? When someone’s done so many nice things for you, why override them with a silly comment loosely left to hang, meaninglessly, in the air?

All I’m saying is, don’t write someone off because they’ve had one single jab at you, no matter how disgusting it was. Think of all the jabs you’ve taken at other people, friends or not friends. In private or public. By oneself or with others. I have come under the impression over time that many of my chums have spoken maliciously about me in the past, and fuck it I’m going to write it down. One good friend of mine was heard discussing how “she really disliked me” with another girl, who I’ve never really gotten to know as more than a good acquaintance (although I do want to get to know her better, because she is really lovely). I didn’t let it affect me, however, because even if they do dislike me, it doesn’t mean I dislike them. I can’t imagine what I’ve done ever to hurt them, so I’m just going to keep trying to be friends. Let it blow over. It’s not my problem if that is not how they feel.

But the knife that cut deepest into my unknowing back was actually wielded by some very close friends of mine. I once heard that they had both accused me of being (excited drum-roll please) bisexual (dun-dun-duhh!), and had discussed it with one another. This, as a result, commenced in a bundle of malicious questions from other people. The worst thing about the whole ordeal however, wasn’t that it was first said by two of my closest friends, but actually that the accusation revolved around me being intimate with my very best friend. The one friend who I knew had never said anything nasty about me, but always got things off her chest by discussing it with me directly. 

What exactly that revelation sprung from, I’ll never know. I don’t really want to know, if I’m honest. Ignorance is fucking bliss.

But the point is, I ignored the incident because I realised it was probably all a big mistake, or a misunderstanding. If it really meant that much to them, they would talk about it with me. But because they hadn’t, I realised they probably didn’t want to hurt our friendship, so as a result, I passed over the situation. I still love them both very much. 

When you’ve been buddies with someone for such a long time, and then suddenly, situations like these arise, you have to remember all the good times you’ve had, and put these on a raised platform way above the hurtful incidents. Because at the end of the day, no girl can deny she’s ever said something potentially very painful about a friend. It’s in a girl’s nature to do so. I’m not saying it’s a good thing, because it really is the most destructive, yet inevitable quality that everybody has. 

However, the chances are that when the wicked words were spoken, they fell clumsily out of the speaker’s mouth, and had very little meaning. They were probably regretted as soon as they slipped through her careless lips. So, you still mean so much to her. 

I’m not saying I’m a saint. I’m actually trying to get through the complete opposite of that misinterpretation. In reality, I’m actually just trying to get across my thanks for your forgiving me, when I’ve done such a horrible thing…so, in conclusion, sorry it’s taken so long to get across, but thank you. I just don’t like doing things conventionally.

viva la revolution

      Yay! An optimistic turning point in Sydony’s traumatic tumblr addiction!

Having had a pretty hectic few weeks, I’ve lacked a lot of time to spend fulfilling my blog-writing obssession. There’s so much I could scribble down! Despite the busyness however, this month has been superb, and as a result, time has flown away, just like my healthy diet and exercise regime. 

So, here i sit, malibu-pineapple mix next to me, wallowing in my recently-acquired summer laziness and loneliness…the crash after the summer climax! Which sounds extremely sad. It is extremely sad. But I’m happy. I think.

This new-found love of doing fuck all has given me the opportunity to contemplate what I think is necessary for the rest of this year, and, of course, life in general. I have landed on some ideal ideas, which follow:

1) Hypnotise oneself to forget all fucked up memories of past year.

2) Abolish all shit-stirrers and crap-creators from one’s life completely.

3) Be reborn.

After analysing these plans further, I have come to realise they probably are not totally achievable and a little extreme. But the idea is there. And the thought of being “reborn” does not originate from a suicidal initiative, but actually lies more in the land of “starting afresh”. Stop hanging onto to shit I know will never get better. Stop worrying about the past. Stop listening to people who wont stop bringing up the past. Just start again. As yourself. Myself.

Don’t be afraid to steal my suggestions. If you’re reading this and understanding, I need you to know how much I appreciate that. So consider it a reward for persevering through my stressful posts: if I don’t know anything else, I do know how you feel, and how everything sometimes can just build up to the point where you’re struggling to breathe under the pile of shit that’s been dumped carelessly on top of you. 

It’s hard to climb out of the hole, I know. But just think of all the people who are vouching for you at the top. Although there are going to be a few lifeless losers trying to stop your from reaching your goal along the way, the prize you achieve at the top will make everything worth the while. Happiness is worth anything. Everything.

Just vow to yourself now that you will never again focus on the disadvantages of the past. Start looking forward to the perks of the future. It’s waiting for you. Jump in.

Anonymous asked: what are your friends like?

awesome, but i’ve got to be more careful about who i put my trust into and who i dont

Anonymous asked: offt.. you write about some random twat at a train station but not me... you sooooo used me >.< player ;)

sssshhhhhhhh :’)